Yours Truly
by country-till-I-die
Summary: I cant think of a song to go with the title like my others. Liv goes undercover, and her boyfriend doesn't like the situation. probably EO
1. trust issues

the last story got 1 review. I really want to know what you think. Should i continue? drop a little note. Enjoy!

* * *

"Why are you looking at me?" she asked the room full of men, who had their eyes on her.

"Olivia, someone has to go undercover, the guys will be there," The Captain explained.

"Yeah but what about…" she trailed off, thinking of how Dean would not like her in this situation, especially with Elliot.

"What Liv?" Elliot asked her with concern.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," she sighed. "When do we do this?"

"Tomorrow night. We have to. He could strike again at any time.

They had been following a rapist for the last few months. He picked up women at a club, brought them home, and left. He sent flowers the next day signed, _yours truly_. That night they were raped. No one could describe him though because they were always drunk (possibly drugged) when he met them.

"This is crazy. We are putting her at such a risk," Elliot said.

"It comes with the job, _El_," She snapped. There was a lot of tension between them lately.

"All right, everybody go home for today," the Captain told them.

"Oh my god! I am going to be late," she cried rushing into the bathroom to change. She had been dating Dean for a month and he was taking her out at seven…fifteen minutes from now. She hadn't told Elliot yet.

"Knock, knock!" she heard, knowing the voice was Dean's from down the hallway. She ran to stop a confrontation from Elliot. Elliot's fists clenched. He hated Dean for making Olivia leave. He was so afraid he was going to take her again.

"Hey, I'm almost ready," she replied, trying to stay calm, watching Elliot as she came around the corner. She was wearing a black dress (think of the one she wore with Maria) and black, strappy heels.

"Liv, baby, you look great," Dean said, knowing _baby _would set Elliot off.

"You're dating him Liv?" Elliot asked, angrily.

"Yes, Elliot. I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said, rushing out the door. She knew she would never have a chance with Elliot, so she had moved to Dean. He understood her job.

She didn't know that she was killing Elliot right now. He loved her, but he didn't think she felt the same, and this proved it.

-----------------

"I am so glad we got this date, Liv," Dean told her.

"Me too. I am really glad I gave you a chance," she said lightly, both of them laughing.

"Why was Elliot so angry today?" he asked. He was always suspicious of their friendship. He never forgot the way she talked about him in Oregon.

"He was afraid you were going to send me away again. All of the guys are wary of your group, none of them liked Dani," She explained.

"Elliot did," he mumbled.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"They had a little fling," he explained, casually. "Does that bother you?"

"No," she lied. "He just hadn't told me."

"I hear she's back in warrants. She's dating Michael, good guy.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Anyway, so what did you do this weekend?" he asked, bringing her mood back up. She explained her shopping trip with Casey. She decided not to mention the undercover operation until they got to her apartment. She didn't want to cause a scene.

--------

"No way, Liv," he argued.

"Dean I did the same thing with you. I have to do this," she told him.

"You didn't have to pick guys up. You aren't doing this, not with him," he said, not realizing what slipped out.

"Him who? Are you talking about Elliot?" She asked, angry at his accusation.

"Don't play dumb, Olivia. I've heard the rumors. I know what they say about you two. I don't know what he'll do. I don't trust him," he told her, getting louder.

"What about me? Do you trust me?" she yelled, furious now.

"You know I do. I don't trust him."

"There is nothing going on! He has a wife, I have you," she said, calming down. "I am not asking for permission. I am telling you that I am doing this."

"I'm sorry, baby. I don't want to fight," he apologized.

"It's okay. I already know what I'm wearing. If you want to see it," she told him, hoping he wouldn't.

"No. I don't want to have the image of what you are going to look like," he told her, kissing her. They kissed for a few minutes on her couch. Then he said, goodbye.

_Tomorrow was going to be rough. _


	2. the kiss

sorry computer problems. this is a bit longer. i am so busy so am getting up what i can. special thanks to biggestSVUfan who was reviewed all my chapters. please review guys. It keeps me wanting to write. :) oh and for those who wanted it your kiss is in here. it was hard but the reviewer knows best.

* * *

Olivia hadn't slept all night after her fight with Dean. _I don't trust him_. What did he mean by that? That he thought Elliot had feelings for her? God, she can't do this now.

"Olivia?"

"What?" she asked quietly, forgetting she was at her desk.

"Liv, what's the matter," Elliot asked her.

"Last night me and-never mind," she didn't want him to get defensive.

"Delivery for, Olivia Benson," the delivery guy said. He held a dozen whit roses. Her and Dean had had a discussion about flowers. They had said that white was such a pure and pretty color for roses, how the gentleness should be used in making up during fights. How you had to be gentle with your relationship during a fight.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the flowers and reading the card.

_I'm so sorry. I always will trust you. I love you, Liv. _

_Dean Bean_

She laughed at the nickname they created for him. He had never said he loved her before. She smiled.

"They from _him?_" Elliot asked.

"What problem do you have with Dean?" she asked him, angrily.

"He's not good enough. He was supposed to be your partner. He should have kept it professional," he told her.

"What like you and Dani while I was gone?" she spat back, putting the flowers on her desk, and running up to the roof. She could hear him calling her and she went up the stairs.

She cried alone on the roof. Ten minutes later she heard the door open.

"Just go away, El," she said, trying to gain her composure. He came and stood beside her silently.

"How did you know?" he whispered.

"Dean told me. He said you guys had a little fling," she said.

"Why the hell does he hate me?" he asked.

"He doesn't hate you, why do you think that?" she asked him.

"He was trying to start a fight."

"The day I came back. I met her. I saw how you two acted. I could tell, I just wished it wasn't true," she explained, so low he almost couldn't hear.

"Why?"

"I worked with you for nine years, you never were like that with me. I felt like I was second best," she told him.

"You never were. The whole time you were gone, I talked about you. _Precious Olivia_ she used to call you. I told her to go. She said she wanted a reason to stay. I told her I didn't have one for her," he explained.

"Hey you two, we gotta get ready for tonight," Fin said from behind. He smiled as her got back inside, hoping that they finally got it together.

She looked amazing. She was wearing a short red dress, cut low. She had red pumps on. Every guy would be looking at her tonight. Elliot could hardly catch his breath.

"What?" she said, when everyone was looking at her.

"Nothing, let's go," Elliot said

------

The club was a classic, smoky place. Every guy was watching her. Elliot was seething. Then he spotted Dani. She would blow their cover, and her couldn't let that happen. Dean was there too, in the corner. Watching Elliot and Olivia. Dani started to walk their way. Elliot saw Olivia leaning up against the wall. He needed to do something before Dani blew it.

"Hey, so-" Liv was cut of by Elliot's lips. He had grabbed her, and forcefully kissed her. She was shocked, but figured there was a reason that he was doing this. She kissed him back, who wouldn't?

Dani walked by with out even noticing. Olivia's eyes turned to fire when she saw Dani walk by. She pushed Elliot off of her.

"What was that?" she asked breathless.

"Dani was gonna blow our cover," he told her. Dean got up and walked by them.

"Shit." She stated.

"Liv, wait," he called as she ran out the door.

----

"Why did you do that?" munch asked.

"Dani would have blown our cover, we couldn't allow that," Elliot said, with no remorse.

"You caused Dean to be pissed. And she isn't going to get picked up now, man; it's over for tonight. We'll try again tomorrow," Fin said

----

"Dean please stop," she called, and he finally turned around.

"What Olivia? You're sorry? Didn't mean it? Spare me the details. Did you like it, huh? Was he a good kisser?" he sneered at her.

"Stop it. I'm sorry. I had no idea he was gonna do that. Please baby, I love you too. I don't want us to fight," she said.

"Liv I don't know if I can get back to before," he told her. "I'll just call you in the morning." He told her, walking away.

She stood there in the street, as it started to rain. (Of course it had to rain ). She started to cry, walking back to the car, where Elliot was.

----

"Liv, what happened?" Elliot asked her.

"Shut up Elliot. Just-just take me home. Okay?" she told him.

"Okay."

"Why do you always do this? Why-just-ugh!" she yelled at him.

"Do what Liv?" he asked her.

"Every relationship I have you destroy. Do you want me to be alone all my life?" she asked, softer now.

"No, no one else is good enough for you," he said softly.

"Then who the hell is?" she yelled at him, causing him to yell back.

"ME!"

"What?" she asked shocked.

"He isn't good enough, Liv," he stated. "I didn't want to cause problems, but I am not sorry that I kissed you."

"Help me out here. You want me, but you are also married. Does that sound a little wrong to you?"

"We're divorced, Liv. I signed the papers this morning. I can't pretend that this thing I feel doesn't exist."

She grabbed him and kissed him across the seat.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked her.

"Uh…. a congratulations on your divorce?" she said slowly. The next part came fast. "Oh there's my apartment, gotta go. Bye!"

_God she drives me crazy._


	3. blow up

i origially stopped this story because i got like 3 reviews. I had several requestst to update so here goes. Review! There will be more on the case in the next chapter, but i just needed to set up the conflict and tension.

* * *

She ran upstairs to her apartment as fast as possible, ready to cry. She wanted Elliot so bad but didn't think he actually wanted her too. She also really loved Dean and didn't want to hurt him. She wouldn't break down because of this, crying showed weakness, something she didn't know.

She was sitting on her couch when a knock came at her door. She got up to answer it. Elliot stood in the dim hallway light.

"El," she whispered.

"Tell me what you feel," he stated.

"What? What are you talking about Elliot, go home," she told him. She couldn't deal with all of this right now.

"Tell me you felt nothing and I'll walk away," he pressed.

"God Elliot, don't make me do this," she said quietly.

"Olivia I know you felt something. You were jealous of Dani weren't you? That son of a bitch only said it to get you to stop talking to me. He's no good Liv," he was talking louder and more angry now.

"No Elliot, you caused this! You chose to screw Dani, not me. Dean was telling me the truth that you couldn't face up to. I was never good enough was I Elliot? You had months without Kathy and you always had me there to pick up the pieces when you screwed up! Don't act like you're a victim," she yelled.

"How can you defend him? I made a mistake with Dani, but when I was with her I imagined it was you," he said.

"Grow the hell up Elliot! You can't use that as an excuse. You could have had me but you were too busy screwing someone else! Stop blaming me for all of this. Go home Elliot, now," she growled.

"Li-" he started, but she cut him off.

"Go Elliot. I am done with this and with you. You don't come into my house demanding answers you already knew. I'll see you at work for the operation," She had already opened the door and half puched him through it. She slammed the door in his face. She was done with it. He had broken her with everything he had done. She sat against the door and cried whispering, _why does this always happen to me. _

On the other side of the door his heart broke as he heard her sobs and listened to her hurt words.

* * *

She barely slept. She left Dean 8 voicemails begging him to call her. He never did. She found tea at her desk when she walked in. _Flower water,_ Elliot had called it.

"Hey Liv, I got you a muffin too," he said. She didn't even answer her.

"Please Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I would never hurt you," that was all he said. She ran up to the roof in fury. Did he honestly believe that he never hurt her?

"What the hell did you do this time man?" fin asked.

"I screwed up. I love her and I lost her. I'm so stupid," he said.

"Yea you are. Go get her. Make her talk. Its what you two do. Y'all drive me crazy but you do it," he said.

* * *

He walked over to her silently. They stood side by side as the breeze blew her hair softly.

"You shouldn't be here El," she said quietly.

"Why?" he spoke the loaded question.

"I don't want to talk to you right now. I am so furious," she said louder.

"What did I do just now to piss you off?" he asked her.

"You said you'd never hurt me," she explained.

"How did I Liv? How did I hurt you?" he asked quietly but pressingly.

"Every time you went home to Kathy, you hurt me. When you slept with her or Dani or you went back to her, you hurt me. You hurt me last night, blaming me for it all. You hurt me when you kissed me," she whispered the last sentence.

"How? How did I hurt you when I kissed you?"

"I don't know what to do anymore, El. That's why I went to Dean. He wanted me and he wouldn't just kiss me and walk away as a ploy to keep away an ex," she got angrier as she went on.

"She was gonna blow our cover. I wanted so bad to kiss you. I made mistakes, but never meant to hurt you. I love you," he reached out and touched her shoulder.

"I can't do this anymore Elliot. I need to know that you truly want this and aren't going to walk away. You're gonna have to fight," she said, turning and walking away.

* * *

As she came down the stairs, she saw Dean standing with roses. She ran up to him and hugged him.

"Can we go someplace and talk?" he asked her.

"Yea we'll take the interrogation room," she calmly told him.

"Liv, what's going on?" elliot asked her as he glared at Dean.

"Its between me and _my_ girlfriend detective Stabler," Dean snapped.

"Stop it, both of you," Liv interrupted. "Let's go Dean."

When they finally reached the interrogation room, she locked the door so no one could come in, meaning Elliot. They stood in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke. She didn't know that Elliot, Fin, Munch and Casey were at the speaker.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly.

"I missed you. I Love you Olivia, you know that," he told her. "When I saw him kiss you I lost it. I just knew it would happen."

"He kissed me. I didn't start it. He said that dani would have seen us and blown the cover," she said.

"I don't want you to go tonight," he said quietly, looking her in the eye.

"Dean its an undercover. I'm not gonna let some other woman get _raped_ because you can't trust me," she said loudly, trying to make him understand. "You want to be there? That's fine with me, but don't ask me to give up my job for this."

"For _this?_ This isn't just something Olivia, it's our relationship," he said louder.

"I know it is, but you can't ask me to do this because you think I have a thing for Elliot," she yelled. Everyone looked at Elliot, but he was engrossed in the conversation and didn't see them.

"Olivia do you think I'm incredibly stupid? I _know_ you have a thing for him. I've heard the rumors, that he cheated on his wife with you," Dean yelled.

"You should know me better than to think that I would break someones vows because of something like this," she yelled back at him.

"Like this? So you do love him. Isn't that right Olivia, you've been pining over him for years and just wouldn't step between the two! You love him don't you," he was yelling even louder now.

"Yes," she yelled, and her eyes went wide, and well as five other sets of eyes, especially Elliot's.

"Dean," she whispered. "I want to be with you, I'm sorry. I love you too. I had to move on from that. I'm trying to do so."

"Don't. Just do your job. Call me when you're done," he told her, as he walked out. She stood and fought back the tears he had caused.

"You son of a bitch," she heard Elliot yell, and the sound of a fist on face contact. She ran out and screamed at him to stop.

"You all were listening? Can I have my own life? This is ridiculous. I'll see you tonight for the operation," she said, walking away.

"Liv-" Elliot started.

"Shut up, Stabler," She yelled, turning and walking away. "You had no right to listen to my private conversation. And you hit my boyfriend, stay the hell out of my life."

He tried to run after her, but Fin stopped him.


	4. catching

I will be adding more tonight. SO sorry I haven't updated. I've had yearbook and dance and my job and stupid boy problems and i've been writing songs a lot. now school is over so another chapter should be posted tonight if i get reaviews. If not I won't post it. I already have faithful reviewers and I love you guys! I need to know what you guys want yhough and what you are thinking to write more. This chapter has a totally open ending thanks country

* * *

Olivia went to the cribs and no one bothered her until 5, when they were supposed to be getting ready for their operation

Olivia went to the cribs and no one bothered her until 5, when they were supposed to be getting ready for their operation. She had already dressed in a short denim mini skirt and low cut black tank top. She walked down the stairs and all eyes were on her.

"What?" she asked all the men.

"Nothing, come on ladies we need to get moving," Cragen yelled at them all. They started walking out of the precinct to their mission. Unfortuanately she had to ride with Elliot.

"Liv I-" He started.

"Shut up. Don't even talk to me. My day sucks enough, you don't need to do any more damage," Liv interrupted.

"I was trying to help you," he explained weekly.

"By punching my boyfriend? Yeah that was gonna help. Just because you don't think anyone but your egotistical self is good enough for me doesn't mean you have the right to punch someone I happen to love," she snapped at him.

"He doesn't love you, he is doing it to get back at me. He's always hated me," Elliot said.

"It's not all about you all the time. You have no idea what my relationship is like. There are two men in my life Elliot, and not just you. You may be my longest relationship with a man, but not my only. Now let me out of the damn car," she said forcefully.

"Let's go boys," she said walking past them all. Tonight was gonna be fun for her she knew as she sat at the bar.

"Hey beautiful, my name's Mark," a gorgeous blond said to her, sitting down at the adjacent stool from her.

"Rachel. Glad to meet you," She said, and they started chatting. Elliot was a couple stools down. He was getting even more jealous by the minute.

"You seem like a very interesting man, Mark," she said as he explained he was a doctor. She didn't believe it for a second. But if this was the Yours Truly rapist, she needed to play along and rope him in.

"Oh I can be," he said as he put his hand on her leg. She laughed at his cocky response. He leaned in and whispered _you're gorgeous_ and kissed her neck. She giggled at him, he was so cheesy.

"Maybe we should take this home," he said to her.

"Not yet, I'm having such a good time here," she said to him. She suggested they move to one of the couches in the lounge to talk some more.

"Sounds good to me," he said. They talked for an hour, and kissed some.

"Come on," he said as he patted her leg. "I'll take you home, nothing more."

She agreed, as she nodded her head to Elliot to follow them. She got home and he kissed her good night after asking for her number. The precinct had rented a "decoy" apartment for the operation. She got inside and waited a few minutes before the guys joined her.

"I think he may have been the guy," she explained as they intently listened. "He kept feeding me this bull about being a doctor and all."

"Great job Liv," Cragen said as they all filed out. They had watched the man drive away so they were safe.

"Seemed like you were really into that guy, Liv," Elliot said as he drove.

"Oh my god, how can you be jealous of an operation El? Do you think I'm not professional enough to not fall for someone? And don't call me Liv," She said.

"Don't act like that, I was just saying. I'll fight for you, you know I will. Dean is going to have to move over. I know you love me, I heard you say it. You can't deny your feelings, Benson," he said as he pulled up to her real apartment.

"Don't talk to me anymore Stabler," she said as she got out. She pulled out her phone to call Dean as she entered the building.

"Hey baby. Can we talk?" she asked him.

"I guess. When and where?" he agreed.

'Try to get up to the roof. I'll keep Elliot away from the doors. No one will hear our conversation that way," she said and he agreed to be there at 12.

"Morning, I brought you tea," Elliot said, treading lightly. He was happy though because she was getting to see Dean today.

"Thanks El," she said, happily.

"Uh…you're welcome," he said, shocked. The rest of the morning went by without incident and Elliot was in Cragen's office when Dean came in. She went to the roof a few minutes later after leaving a note for Elliot.

"Hey baby," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

"Hey Livvy," he said as he smiled. "How'd it go last night?"

"Guy was a slime ball but they found the flowers this morning and its pretty much a wrapped up case. I can now focus on our issue more," she said.

"How did _he_ handle it?" he asked.

"Not so well, he accused me of falling for the guy. It was insulting," she said.

"Oh Good."

"Come on, you are gonna have to get along with him. He's my partner."

"And he's in love with you. So am I. I kind of have to compete with him a lot," he said.

"You need to trust me. I'm really pissed off at him right now," she explained as they both heard the door creak open. "Elliot," she said in shock as he stared at both of them. _This cannot be good._


End file.
